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About Felix

Summary If Felix is dead

Contact Info

E-mail: webspam@skeena.net

What to do if Felix dies

Here are some notes that may be useful if I'm dead or incapacitated suddenly and without notice:

Medical Directives

Important Note: the 'kill me' directives above apply even if my mentally impaired self says he wants to live. I realize this is not legal yet, but it is my wish that the law be ignored and that I be killed in those cases. My executor (haha, pun) should take care to make it look accidental, or something.

The main aim of the mental impairment 'kill me' directives is that I do not want to cost more than I'm worth to people who have no direct say in the expense. That is, do not use state funds to keep me alive if I'm that impaired. If someone really wants to keep me as some kind of pet, fine, but they are to use only their own money in that case.

What to do with my corpse

Do not go to any great lengths to salvage it (e.g. if I died somewhere really awkward, just leave it there).

If anyone asks to see it, let them.

If anyone wants to eat me, that is permissible.

If anyone wants to keep a piece of me (hair, bones, etc.), that is permissible. Leila Howe gets first dibs on my skull, my preserved brain in a jar, and any proximal phalanges. If my sister wants to use my body parts for anything that I would find amusing, she gets next priority.

I have no religious constraints or sense of decorum about my corpse; uses like explosives testing or being decayed under unusual conditions for science are all fair game.

After any useful parts have been salvaged, dispose of me as cheaply as possible. No coffins, do not store me in a funeral home (morgues are cheaper), do not embalm me, etc. Ideally, I would like to be dumped naked in a forest to be scavenged by other animals. If this is not feasible, I am also agreeable to aquamation / alkaline hydrolysis and cremation.

If killed by non-human animal

If I was killed by a non-human animal, I do not want that animal killed. It should be granted diplomatic immunity and, if necessary, relocated. If it was eating me, let it finish.

Exception: This provision does not apply if the animal was someone's domestic dog. If it was someone's dog, please kill it in retribution.

If I died in a traffic accident

If I died in some kind of accident on a roadway, I do not want any persistent memorial made on the site — I don't like those piles of photos and flowers beside the road.

To access my encrypted drive:

There are a few people who know how to obtain the passphrase. Try my current and past significant others and best friends. The drive itself should be fairly simple to find, once you start poking through my computers (hint: it's usually a separate partition).


I probably don't have a proper legal will. It is my hope that this document will provide a clear enough framework of intent to make things easy for whomever BC and/or Canadian law designates as my executor in the absence of a formal will (and easy for any potential inheritors to see that my wishes are being followed, vague as they may be).

Brief synopsis of will

Passwords, Access, etc.

Passwords to anything I was responsible for should be in a file on my encrypted drive (see above). If it's a Free-Net thing, also check with Kevin Battersby.


If anyone has a problem with the way I have named (or not named) them in the above, by all means complain to me about it while I'm still alive and we can sort it out.

Last changed 2023-10-01. I review this document every 2 months, so it is always reasonably current with my wishes.