What to do if Felix dies
Here are some notes that may be useful if I'm dead or incapacitated suddenly and without notice:
Medical Directives
- If I am brain-dead (by whatever criteria currently used by the medical community), kill me.
- If I am immobile and unable to communicate and keeping me alive costs more than $2000/month (2013 Canadian dollars), kill me after one month. Family members, significant others, or close friends may veto this for up to six months, or however long my own savings will cover the cost (but this method may only be used if Canada's medical system allows using private funds this way when the intention is not to burden the state).
- In case of intractable mental impairment: Find 4 people who have never met me, and have each spend 30 minutes in my company. Do not tell them why. If all 4 think that my mind is as impaired as that of a dementia patient in a care home, kill me.
- If I am unable to write a computer program that lists the first 100 prime numbers, kill me.
- If Leila Howe of Norwich, UK, and my mother both agree that my mind is impaired enough that fully cognizant me would not want to live that way, kill me.
- If I am dead or incapacitated and anyone wants my sperm, extracting it is permissible.
- If I am dead, salvage any useful components of my body.
Important Note: the 'kill me' directives above apply even if my mentally impaired self says he wants to live. I realize this is not legal yet, but it is my wish that the law be ignored and that I be killed in those cases. My executor (haha, pun) should take care to make it look accidental, or something.
The main aim of the mental impairment 'kill me' directives is that I do not want to cost more than I'm worth to people who have no direct say in the expense. That is, do not use state funds to keep me alive if I'm that impaired. If someone really wants to keep me as some kind of pet, fine, but they are to use only their own money in that case.
What to do with my corpse
Do not go to any great lengths to salvage it (e.g. if I died somewhere really awkward, just leave it there).
If anyone asks to see it, let them.
If anyone wants to eat me, that is permissible.
If anyone wants to keep a piece of me (hair, bones, etc.), that is permissible. Leila Howe gets first dibs on my skull, my preserved brain in a jar, and any proximal phalanges. If my sister wants to use my body parts for anything that I would find amusing, she gets next priority.
After any useful parts have been salvaged, dispose of me as cheaply as possible. No coffins, do not store me in a funeral home (morgues are cheaper), do not embalm me, etc. Ideally, I would like to be dumped naked in a forest to be scavenged by other animals. If this is not feasible, I am also agreeable to aquamation / alkaline hydrolysis and cremation.
If killed by non-human animal
If I was killed by a non-human animal, I do not want that animal killed. It should be granted diplomatic immunity and, if necessary, relocated. If it was eating me, let it finish.
Exception: This provision does not apply if the animal was someone's domestic dog. If it was someone's dog, please kill it in retribution.
If I died in a traffic accident
If I died in some kind of accident on a roadway, I do not want any persistent memorial made on the site — I don't like those piles of photos and flowers beside the road.
To access my encrypted drive:
There are a few people who know how to obtain the passphrase. Try my current and past significant others and best friends. The drive itself should be fairly simple to find, once you start poking through my computers (hint: it's usually a separate partition).
Will
I probably don't have a proper legal will. It is my hope that this document will provide a clear enough framework of intent to make things easy for whomever BC and/or Canadian law designates as my executor in the absence of a formal will (and easy for any potential inheritors to see that my wishes are being followed, vague as they may be).
Brief synopsis of will
- Any named recipients may redistribute bequests as they see fit.
- Money: 70% goes to Leila Howe of Norwich, UK; 15% goes to my sister, Silvie Giannelia; 15% goes to my parents, Inke and Rainer of Terrace, BC.
- If Leila is also dead, her share should be distributed according to her will. If Leila is dead and did not have a will or clear heirs and successors, her share should go to her father. If an inheritance would change his benefits status, the money should go to someone not on benefits who can give it to him as needed without affecting his benefits status.
- Data: a complete copy of everything goes to Leila Howe. Find someone to continue/finish/publish any stories I have written (Miryam Burns of Vancouver, BC might be interested). The 'chakatheaven' group on groups.io may be interested in anything to do with Felines or Chakats; upload such stories & supporting material there.
- Physical goods (furniture, clothes, gadgets, etc.): go to Leila Howe of Norwich, UK.
Passwords, Access, etc.
Passwords to anything I was responsible for should be in a file on my encrypted drive (see above). If it's a Free-Net thing, also check with Kevin Battersby.
Complaints
If anyone has a problem with the way I have named (or not named) them in the above, by all means complain to me about it while I'm still alive and we can sort it out.
Last updated 2021-10-17. I review this document every 2 months, so it is always reasonably current with my wishes.